I'm confused why the chalk should be thanking that dumb blonde kid who doesn't know how to use apostrophes correctly.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Paging Comma Man...
I'm confused why the chalk should be thanking that dumb blonde kid who doesn't know how to use apostrophes correctly.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Badly
Everyone knows you should say, "I don't feel well," instead of "I don't feel good." This is one of those things teachers correct kids on and drill into their heads. So if the opposite of "I feel good" is, "I feel bad," what's the opposite of "I feel well"?
Obviously, it can't be "bad." If "I don't feel good," is incorrect, "I feel bad," must also be incorrect. Right? So what is it? You wouldn't say, "I feel poor," because that sounds like a financial statement. Sure, you could use "unwell," but there has to be a better word, doesn't there?
It's exactly this line of thinking that leads people to the conclusion that saying, "I don't feel well," is the same thing as saying, "I feel badly." "Badly" sounds much more sophisticated than "bad," and we already know "bad" is incorrect.
Wrong. You lose.
Think about the word "badly" for a second. What part of speech is this? If you remember your grammar lessons back in elementary school, you'll remember that the "-ly" suffix indicates an adverb. "Badly" is an adverb, which means it modifies the verb in the sentence (in this case, "feel"). That's not what you're trying to say. Observe:
I write badly = I am a bad writer
I run badly = I am a bad runner
I cook badly = I am a bad cook
See? Of course, this sounds kind of stupid because the sentence structure is funky, and "badly" is just a stupid-sounding word. Anyway, what you're saying when you say, "I feel badly," is "I am a bad feeler." Perhaps this means you have had the pads of your fingertips removed so you're unable to feel things. Or maybe you're emotionally numb. Whatever the case, I'm guessing this is not what you mean to say.
What you mean to say is "I feel sorry for someone," or "I feel unwell." In this case, the correct word is "bad." I know it may not sound super sophisticated, but it's correct.
I feel bad for you = I feel sorry for you
I feel badly for you = I am bad at feeling things for you
Yes, it's a fairly subtle difference. But this is one that can really make you sound stupid if you use it wrong. So why don't you just take "badly" out of your vocabulary and never use it again.
Thank you. Moving on.
Obviously, it can't be "bad." If "I don't feel good," is incorrect, "I feel bad," must also be incorrect. Right? So what is it? You wouldn't say, "I feel poor," because that sounds like a financial statement. Sure, you could use "unwell," but there has to be a better word, doesn't there?
It's exactly this line of thinking that leads people to the conclusion that saying, "I don't feel well," is the same thing as saying, "I feel badly." "Badly" sounds much more sophisticated than "bad," and we already know "bad" is incorrect.
Wrong. You lose.
Think about the word "badly" for a second. What part of speech is this? If you remember your grammar lessons back in elementary school, you'll remember that the "-ly" suffix indicates an adverb. "Badly" is an adverb, which means it modifies the verb in the sentence (in this case, "feel"). That's not what you're trying to say. Observe:
I write badly = I am a bad writer
I run badly = I am a bad runner
I cook badly = I am a bad cook
See? Of course, this sounds kind of stupid because the sentence structure is funky, and "badly" is just a stupid-sounding word. Anyway, what you're saying when you say, "I feel badly," is "I am a bad feeler." Perhaps this means you have had the pads of your fingertips removed so you're unable to feel things. Or maybe you're emotionally numb. Whatever the case, I'm guessing this is not what you mean to say.
What you mean to say is "I feel sorry for someone," or "I feel unwell." In this case, the correct word is "bad." I know it may not sound super sophisticated, but it's correct.
I feel bad for you = I feel sorry for you
I feel badly for you = I am bad at feeling things for you
Yes, it's a fairly subtle difference. But this is one that can really make you sound stupid if you use it wrong. So why don't you just take "badly" out of your vocabulary and never use it again.
Thank you. Moving on.
Monday, November 7, 2011
Nothing is funny
Seriously, I know my blog has been less-than-hopping lately, but there is absolutely nothing funny that I've come across. People are just being normal stupid, not funny stupid. This is depressing. I expect a pick-up in the amount of funny in the near future. Please.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Excuse me. Can you be less stupid, please?
Sometimes when I'm editing I want to be like, "I'm sorry. I cannot edit this until you become less stupid. Can you please try again and return it to me when you have accomplished this?"
I suppose this would probably be considered rude, though, huh?
I suppose this would probably be considered rude, though, huh?
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Wiki Answers
I know I could probably amuse myself for hours just reading the stupid questions people at Wiki Answers ask, but I just had to share this one:
Is baby powder made of aborted babies?
I really hope that was a serious question. It's much funnier that way.
Is baby powder made of aborted babies?
I really hope that was a serious question. It's much funnier that way.
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