For a while

Ever wondered about the difference between awhile and a while? If you're like most people, you haven't because you always just use awhile. But there's good news. I'm here to present you with another grammar tip you probably won't remember or use! I'm sure you're as excited as I am.

The rules for awhile and a while are pretty simple as long as you don't think about them too much.

A while is an amount of time; therefore, it's a noun.

Awhile is an adverb.

While we all know the parts of speech, this still may not be a very practical explanation. So here's the quick and dirty version:

Awhile is used after a verb.

A while is used after for or another word like that.

Observe:

I listened to One Direction for a while, but then I realized it was crap and turned it off.

They dated awhile, even though she knew he was trouble when he walked in.

See? One word after a verb, two words after for.

Yes, it's nitpicky. It's grammar. That's kind of its thing.

Sentence structure

For some reason I see this sort of sentence structure a lot:

A sturdy four-wheel drive, the old man probably wanted the truck for himself.

First off, if you write all your sentences with this structure, your writing will sound really awkward. Don't do it.

Second, this is probably not what you actually want to say. Here's the basic overview of how this sort of sentence works:

[description of thing], [thing] [rest of sentence]

So while it's definitely noteworthy that the old man is a sturdy four-wheel drive, I'm fairly certain you meant something more like this:

The old man probably wanted the sturdy four-wheel drive for himself.

I know that doesn't sound as fancy, but it also doesn't sound as stupid.

You're welcome.

IEEG

Have you ever wondered about the difference between i.e. and e.g.? Well, here's how to get around it. Basically, you probably mean "for example." Just say that.

Done.

Not convinced? OK, then here goes:

You probably know that i.e. and e.g. stand for Latin things. Let's not bother with that. Let's just stick to the meanings.

i.e.: in other words
e.g.: for example

For some reason we're all convinced we should always use i.e. I don't know why. We just are. Unfortunately, we're wrong. Well, to be fair, you're wrong. I'm not. That's why I'm writing this post and you're not.

One way to remember the difference is that e.g. can be used with etc. You're listing some examples, but there are probably more. However, i.e. means you are simply rewording or clarifying what you've just said, so you can't use etc. Still confused? Here are some examples:

I grew up watching baseball while listening to three generations of Carays (i.e., Harry, Skip, and Chip).

In this example I stated that there were three generations, so the part in parentheses is a clarification, not a list of examples. I listened to Harry Caray, Skip Caray, and Chip Caray. There are no other relevant Carays in this story; therefore, it would not make sense to use either etc. or i.e.

In contrast:

While it's still early in the season, a couple of weak spots have already emerged in the Braves' lineup (e.g., Dan Uggla).

Here I mentioned "a couple of weak spots," but I only gave one. Clearly this is an example of one possible weak spot and not a clarification, which is why e.g. works here. Yes, I could have used etc., but why bother? You all knew I meant B.J. Upton anyway.

The rusty old early-1900s Smith & Wesson .22 caliber long rifle on the wall

Anton Chekhov once said this:

Remove everything that has no relevance to the story. If you say in the first chapter that there is a rifle hanging on the wall, in the second or third chapter it absolutely must go off. If it's not going to be fired, it shouldn't be hanging there.

That's not to say you shouldn't be descriptive. You should--as long as it's relevant. If it's not, why the hell are you telling me?

For example, my current book spent a page detailing a man's high school baseball career and how he got injured in Vietnam. The book is not about baseball or Vietnam. It takes place many years after high school. And the character speaks one line and is not mentioned either before or after this description. Why the hell would I care about his high school baseball career? That's right. I wouldn't.

There are a lot of really great, successful writers who describe the hell out of things. And that's great for them. But even Tolkien and Stephen King know you have to draw the line somewhere. 

Another brilliant questionnaire

What two main impression where you left with?

1. impressions
2. were

Because I said so

Tip of the day: you don't need a comma before because. It is not a conjunction. Why? I don't know. It's too early to go into long, drawn-out discussions that nobody really cares about. Just don't use a comma before because. OK? Thanks.

Happy Friday!

Wordiness

I am astonished but not surprised.

Yes, this basically sums up my newest book. In case you were wondering, here's the definition of astonish thanks to our good friends at Merriam-Webster:

to strike with a sudden sense of surprise or wonder especially through something unexpected or difficult to accept as true or reasonable :  surprise greatly.

This book started out at 100,000 words and will probably end up at about 50,000 by the time I cut out all this bullshit.