What kind of cord?

According to this book I'm editing, childbirth is much different in the future: "After being untethered from the artificial womb’s imbecile cord..."

Ghostwriters

If you don't know the difference between "your" and "you're," you have no business writing a book. Hire a ghostwriter.

The end.

A little redundant, huh?

There's really no need to say "I thought to myself." Isn't it kind of a given that thinking is done in your own head? Who else would you think to?

This makes no grammatical sense

He might of did something bad.

"Might of did"? Even people who suck at grammar know this is messed up.

You mean a dresser?

I'm constantly astounded by the things people mishear. There are so many common phrases and terms that people screw up on a continual basis. Here's today's:

He folded his clothes and put them in the Chester drawers.

Okay, I'll admit "chest of drawers" sounds kind of lame. But Chester drawers? Really? That's mind-bottlingly stupid.

Vulgar Grammar

Type "fucken" into Google, and you don't get porn. That's how you know it's spelled wrong.

CMOS burn!

OMG, you guys. Check out this total burn by the CMOS:

etc. This is the abbreviated form of et cetera ("and other things"); it should never be used in reference to people. Etc. implies that a list of things is too extensive to recite (and indeed it should be used only after at least two items, never just one). But often writers seem to run out of thoughts and tack on etc. for no real purpose.

Yeah, writers. You just got burned by the Chicago Manual of Style.

Actual ad I just read

This was an ad for an under-eye cream, I think. I don't know. I didn't click on it.

"Sure, lines give you character, but maybe you don't need any character."

Sometimes I can't even come up with a snarky remark for this bullshit. It's just too mind-boggling.

Be Brutally Honest

I'm pretty sure this guy doesn't really want me to be brutally honest. Because if I were, this would be my complete analysis of this project:

Your book sucks.

Don't say this

I don't know why we care about Lake Superior State University, except that they do an annual list of banished words. If you say these words or phrases, they will find you and arrest you or beat you. Or something bad like that. So I advise you read their banished words and immediately remove them from your vocabulary.

Especially "baby bump." Seriously. Don't ever use that phrase again.