Blackshades, we’re not talking about sunglasses. I'd like to know what journalism school is teaching this sort of grammar. A comma here makes no sense at all. Are you talking to someone named Blackshades? That's all I can guess. In fact, the total opposite. So we're talking about the total opposite of sunglasses. Of course. It's a type of malware that has made national headlines, and is making some people think twice about what they do in front of their computer. Oh, right. Because apparently malware is the opposite of sunglasses. I can see the universe in which that makes sense.
Nick Davis is an I.T. Security Architect at UW-Madison, and says it's easy for a hacker to break into your device. I love the fact that this journalist feels the need to use commas and conjunctions to join incomplete sentences. That's totally a thing.
"You'll receive an email from someone you don't know, but it will seem like a legitimate email. You’ll click on the attachment, and nothing will happen. But in the background, very quietly the malware blackshades, will install itself on your computer,” said Davis. I'm confused. What's with the comma after blackshades? And should that be capitalized? That asshole Davis must not have specified in his quote.
Blackshades made headlines last year. Complete sentence. Good job. After a college student hacked into Miss Teen USA’s web cam, spying, snapping naked photos and even blackmailing her. Not a complete sentence. Bad job.
"It allows an attacker to remotely enable your web cam on your laptop, or your desktop machine and then it sends pictures to them from a remote location,” said Davis. So you thought you should put a comma before or, despite it not being used as a conjunction, but you didn't feel like putting a comma before the conjunction and. I just don't get it.
It doesn't stop there.Well, I'd hope not. This would be a pretty short, boring article.
“I do all my banking online, like investing is online, I pay all my credit card bills online,” said UW-Madison student, Erin Jamar. This is a great quote. Note how the verb tenses stay the same, and there are no comma splices? Yes, that was sarcasm.
Once blackshades is installed, Davis says hackers can get to those too. So you installed blackshades, and then Davis said this? Probably not. Perhaps there should be a comma after Davis says.
"You can't be 100% sure that your computer isn't infected, and I always tell people, if you can't be sure your computer isn't infected, you have to operate under the presumption that it is infected,” said Davis. This is good advice about anything. I can't be sure I really exist, so I should probably operate under the presumption that I don't. Or something. Also, presumption?
So how do you protect yourself from an attack? Um...scientology?
Davis says, the best way is to keep two separate devices in your home. Using one to surf the web, and the other to access sensitive accounts. No, guys. The comma should have gone after Davis says in that previous sentences. Here it makes no sense. Oh, wait. That second sentence isn't even a sentence. We've completely given up on trying to make sense at this point, haven't we?
"People need to learn to treat there computers as if they are underneath a public eye, because they are connected to a public network,” said Davis. I'm imagining a very large public eye with a bunch of people standing underneath it. Probably these people have there computers with them. Other fun fact: because does not require a comma. But let's be real here. That's hardly the biggest problem with this sentence.
A good lesson, but one hard to follow, in this complex internet age, where everyone thinks they're not the next target. I assume commas are like government budgets. It's the end of the article, and the guy has all these commas left over. If he doesn't shove them all into this sentence, then he loses all his commas for his next article.
"I would still have that invincible mentality. You know, it's not going to happen to me, it hasn't happened to anyone I know, even though it's obviously not true,” said Jamar. I don't know the point of this. Did this happen to Jamar? The article didn't say anything about her. In fact, the article didn't really say anything about anything. Here. I'll rewrite it for you.
Blackshades is a computer virus. It is bad.
I'm brilliant.
Blackshades is a computer virus. It is bad.
I'm brilliant.
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