Magic with adjectives

Today I'm going to teach you how to make an ordinary, everyday phrase into an adjective. It'll be fun. I promise.

This super-amazing, magical power is used when a phrase is longer than one word but it's technically being used as an adjective. For example, let's pretend you're a grandma, and someone did something nice for you. You might write them a card to say thank you. Thank you is two words, so you may be concerned about attempting to make this an adjective because readers will be completely unaware that these words go together to describe the appropriate noun. Fear not. You can (and by can I mean you have to because grammar says) simply hyphenate the term.

In other words, you can write a thank-you card.

Now I know this seems a little odd, and you don't see it very often. You see it more commonly with numerical terms, like a three-mile run (ugh) or a quarter-inch cable. It's the same concept. If you don't hyphenate the terms, technically the adjectives there are mile and inch. You're not going for three one-mile runs. You're going for one three-mile run. See how much that hyphen simplified things? Similarly, Grace Potter doesn't have an inch cable that she's looking for a quarter of. She's asking for her quarter-inch cable.

And you, Grandma, are not writing a you card. You're writing a thank-you card.

Some of you sharp readers may have noticed I also hyphenated super-amazing. That's because it's important to note that the power to hyphenate adjectives is not just amazing. It's super-amazing. Yes, that means you should be doing that whenever you use the word super in that way.

I'm very sorry to introduce another brand-new rule you're now aware you're not following.

Brain dump

I'm choreographing a fight using two stuffed cats. That's totally normal, right? Too bad I killed off all my Barbies when I was about 6.

My iPod gets Valentine's Day: "Just the Way You Are" immediately followed by "Fuck You."

Pitchers and catchers report for spring training today!

An actual headline: Flaming Chicken Nuggets to Blame for Apartment Kitchen Fire.

"Will you still like me if I'm not a zombie?"

I'm feeling a little autistic today. Definitely, definitely autistic.

Sometimes I wish I were a high maintenance girl. I'm high maintenance because I'm crazy. But I'm talking about stereotypical girl high maintenance.

Sometimes I wish I were really dumb because then I wouldn't notice when people think I'm really dumb.

Paper is the enemy of nail polish.

Getting all dolled up for Valentine's Day. That means I'm wearing my nice sweats and putting on some mascara.

There's a Grace Potter song that uses the word "beguiled." How awesome is that?

Whoever does Hayley Williams' hair and makeup should be shot.

Nothing to say

I've got nothing for you right now. So instead, please enjoy "Apologies" by Grace Potter.

Paramore are a band

Are bands plural or singular? This one really pains me because the rules have changed, which creates a bit of confusion on some parts. Usually when you have a group made up of many parts, you refer to the group as singular because the group is one entity. For example:

A flock of birds is sitting in that tree.
A box of chocolates is a really cliche Valentine's Day gift.
My collection of MST3Ks is extensive.
My family is dysfunctional.