Actual ad I just read

This was an ad for an under-eye cream, I think. I don't know. I didn't click on it.

"Sure, lines give you character, but maybe you don't need any character."

Sometimes I can't even come up with a snarky remark for this bullshit. It's just too mind-boggling.

Didn't you read my earlier post?

About two hours after I posted yesterday, this came up in my Facebook feed:

Too Faced Cosmetics

‎**CONTEST ALERT** Enter to win 1 of 15 Smokey Eye Gift Sets or the Grand Prize of a $250 eGift Card to TooFaced.com!

Just snap a photo of your sexiest smokey eye look and upload it to the contest page here: http://bit.ly/nOCyiL

The first *DAILY WINNER* will be announced tomorrow! Daily winners receive the new Smokey Eye Collection + Shadow Insurance Eye Shadow Primer + Eye Shadow Brush!!

And yes, if you go to Too Faced's website, they do indeed sell a Smokey Eye Gift Set. I can only assume it makes your eyes look like Smokey the Bear's.

Not a very good teaser

This is a headline from the Weather Channel's website:

Madison Ranks in Top 10 Worst Fall Allergy Cities

Okay, neat. Now here's the little teaser underneath:

The Weather Channel teamed up with the Asthma and Allergy Foundation of America to rank the country's fall allergy hot spots. Where does Madison rank? To find out, read more.

Um, I'm going to go ahead and make the assumption that Madison ranks in the top 10 of the worst fall allergy cities. I think I read that somewhere.

Exotic, faraway lands

Groupon really needs to work on their marketing.


The subject line for the email was: 


Your Getaways: Montreal, Wisconsin, Iowa, and More


Yes, folks. You too could travel all the way to exotic Wisconsin!

Slim-fast

I fairly recently changed my Facebook status to "engaged," so of course I'm getting hit with a massive number of bride-oriented ads. They're mostly harmless. I ignore them because they're stupid or giggle at them because they're really stupid, and then I move on with my day. 

This morning, Facebook hit me with this one from Slim-fast: "All brides should do this!" Yes, all brides should diet and lose weight before their weddings. 

Okay, I know obesity is an epidemic in America, but so is poor self-esteem. Do we really need ads like this? Really? Every woman needs to diet? Come on now. I know some women go nuts with the pre-wedding diet bullshit, but some of us just want to look like ourselves. 

Thank you, Slim-fast, for telling me that I am unfit for marriage in my current physical state. I must change if I truly want to be desirable. What a fantastic message. Thanks for that.  

Girl humor

Funniest product name/description ever (no, they are not actually cupcakes):


Cleavage Cupcakes Just Like Homemade

Well, there was that one time...

I really enjoy this first line from a sales letter:


Have you ever wanted to create your own online empire?


It's like asking, "Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moonlight?" or "Have you ever shot a man in Reno just to watch him die?" These are one-time events. That's usually what "ever" indicates in these sorts of questions. I imagine a conversation like this:

Someone didn't do their research

Go check out this website and look at the different products.

I get why the name makes sense. I just really think they should have done a better job on their packaging.

Or am I the only one who finds this funny?