I always trust people I don't like

This was a new person, so I have to cut them a little bit of slack. But really, just a little bit. Because honestly, do you not read what you're writing?

Simple Video Tips: The Easiest Way to Achieve the No-Like Trust Factor With Your Clients.

Um, I'm guessing most businesspeople want their clients to like them. Just sayin'. 

Makeup mistakes

From the Sephora website (Make Up For Ever):

Burgandy 18L (deep burgandy sheen)

Usually burgundy is spelled with a U. Just sayin'.

Also, this is definitely all Sephora:

The buildable formula let's you control coverage, with a satin finish.

Sephora is a very profitable company. You'd think they could afford to hire an editor. Or at least someone who could use spellcheck. 

Gorilla warfare

From an exchange on Facebook:


Me: Wisconsin could form its own little cheese-and-beer-loving dictatorship.
Friend I've Never Actually Met: Yeah, but then you could overthrow him and install yourself as Generalissima

Me: I will further consider your proposal once I have assembled my gorilla army and planned my coup.

Person Who Doesn't Know Me: ‎^guerilla (just sayin')

Friend I've Never Actually Met: I think she wants to use actual gorillas.

I'll chalk it up to a bad day

Check out this headline:


3 Egypt ex-ministers oredered arrested. 

This was on CNN's front page before the fold. I can't type "oredered" without it being underlined in red, and it's automatically corrected in any Microsoft program. So if you're working for CNN, perhaps this is one you should catch before it goes to print. I'm just saying.

Here's some advice:

First rule of writing: always run spellcheck.

Second rule of writing: if you screw something up, someone will notice. My spies are everywhere.

Thanks to the spy who pointed this one out to me!

Brain dump

I'm choreographing a fight using two stuffed cats. That's totally normal, right? Too bad I killed off all my Barbies when I was about 6.

My iPod gets Valentine's Day: "Just the Way You Are" immediately followed by "Fuck You."

Pitchers and catchers report for spring training today!

An actual headline: Flaming Chicken Nuggets to Blame for Apartment Kitchen Fire.

"Will you still like me if I'm not a zombie?"

I'm feeling a little autistic today. Definitely, definitely autistic.

Sometimes I wish I were a high maintenance girl. I'm high maintenance because I'm crazy. But I'm talking about stereotypical girl high maintenance.

Sometimes I wish I were really dumb because then I wouldn't notice when people think I'm really dumb.

Paper is the enemy of nail polish.

Getting all dolled up for Valentine's Day. That means I'm wearing my nice sweats and putting on some mascara.

There's a Grace Potter song that uses the word "beguiled." How awesome is that?

Whoever does Hayley Williams' hair and makeup should be shot.