Welcome back, I guess

I'm about to embark on my first project in over a month. Apparently the author is just as excited as I am because his book title has an exclamation point in it. Seriously. 

So that's kind of a bad sign. Also a bad sign: his biography.

[Author] was born on a dark and stormy, cold and wintry night in1956, the scene fittingly and fleetingly lit by powerful and blinding flashes of Lightning, almost immediately followed by the deafening rapid cannon-fire explosions of Thunder. His sweat soaked and red-faced mother looked down upon her new-born son for the first time with a gentle, smiling and tender look, and then screamed!

I often debate the appropriateness of swearing profusely on my blog because I feel like I should probably be able to come up with more creative ways of expressing myself. But then sometimes this happens.

Fuck. Seriously. Just...fuck.

No work...

Not having work is the bane of the independent contractor's existence. I'll have several months where I'm so swamped I don't have time for anything but work, and then I'll get this bullshit where I have nothing. This is why, while my job is awesome, it also sucks. I enjoy being able to pay my bills.

But anyway, enough of that. Today's lack of work brings me to an important point:

Why is Adam Levine the Sexiest Man Alive (TM or whatever), and why do I want to punch him in the face? Seriously, this bothers me. I know very little about him as a person except that one time he told some reporters to shut up about Christina Aguilera's weight already, which is sort of awesome. I mean, sure his band makes terrible, awful music, but that doesn't seem like a good enough reason to want to punch someone in the face. I can only assume he looks like someone who wronged me, possibly in a past life.

Also possible: one of us is a horrible person.