Lots of planets have a north

Some transcriptionists have a lot of trouble with accents, which results in a lot of fun for me when I'm editing the transcripts. This particular speaker sounds like she's from northern England (but I could be wrong; lots of planets have a north) and is talking about developmental psychology. Here are a couple of gems:

The notion of seeking just a unitary self is actually a full swan.

If you've ever heard an interview with the Beatles, you probably can understand this one. The notion is a false one, not a full swan. I'm not sure what a full swan notion is, but it sounds entertaining to me.

Bonus points for anyone who read that last sentence and thought, "Shouldn't it be full-swan notion?"

I think the bit I’m wanting to move away from is the notion that the child part of self only consists of our cake experience.

I really see no problem with basing my sense of self solely on my experiences with cake. Although I'll admit I'm a little confused how someone could have heard our cake twice and thought that made more sense than archaic in this context.

I always trust people I don't like

This was a new person, so I have to cut them a little bit of slack. But really, just a little bit. Because honestly, do you not read what you're writing?

Simple Video Tips: The Easiest Way to Achieve the No-Like Trust Factor With Your Clients.

Um, I'm guessing most businesspeople want their clients to like them. Just sayin'. 

Happy Monday!

I just started work on a book project, and the first part of the process is transcribing an interview with the "author." I know this person's name, and I understand how to do a search on the Google. However, he felt it necessary to spell the name of his "idea" four times in the first 1:24 of the file. It's "BEE-ing." Capital "BEE," hyphen, lower case "ing." Should I say it again? I know it's complicated, especially without the internet to help me search for such things. 

Then, when he finally got over spelling his "idea" name, he said this:

"'BEE-ing' (capital B-E-E, hyphen, lower case 'ing') is our play on the word 'being.'"

Oh my god, he's right! "BEE-ing" does sound an awful lot like "being." I never would have noticed that had he not explained it to me! Thank god for this brilliant man and his brilliant ability to brilliantly describe things! 

I really hope this project doesn't continue this way.  

You're fired

If I were in charge, this transcriptionist would be fired:


If you can just deliver what your brand [promises/promise is 4:56] and execute it really well, you’re already such a long way to establishing a loyalty.


You can't figure out whether it's "promises" or "promise is"?! Only one of them makes sense. This isn't difficult. Do your job. Seriously.

Guess what?

One of the things I do is I take recorded interviews that someone has transcribed and turn them into articles for magazines and ezines. A magazine article needs to read like a magzine article, not like a conversation. The point is to get the information across in a neat and concise manner that doesn't sound like you're talking to your best friend on the phone.

I've probably brought this one up before because it drives me nuts. "Guess what" is not a question. It is a command. Just think about it. You're telling someone to do something. You want them to guess. You are not asking them to guess. If you were, this sentence would be constructed differently. It would be something like, "Can you guess what?" That sounds dumb too. This whole thing is dumb. "Guess what" is a filler that people use to bring attention to something else. It's completely unnecessary in written language. "I turned on my iPod, and guess what. A OneRepublic song was first again." See how stupid that looks in writing? That's because it is stupid. Don't type it.

Along the same lines is "You know what?" This is actually a question, so at least there's that. However, it's not a complete sentence. If you think about it, this sentence really doesn't make any sense. What you're really trying to say is, "Do you know what?" However, this is irrelevant because of the aforementioned reasons. This is a filler. It is not ever important to the rest of the written information. "You know what? I think I will become a shrimp boat captain." "I'm not watching the Braves game today because you know what? They're not playing." See how this is exactly the same as "guess what"? It is.

Do not transcribe this. Ever. Do not write this. Ever. It is unprofessional and annoying, and guess what. It pisses editors off.