Segue to a Backstory

As she looked around at her surroundings, her thoughts drifted to her life up to that point.

So her thoughts drifted to...her thoughts, basically. Good. Let's go with that. It sounds a lot better than this:

As she looked at stuff, she thought about a convenient segue to her backstory. 

Subtle

"The weatherman said a storm is coming soon. He’s probably right. I wonder how long it will last." It was a dry comment in spite of the dark clouds that formed along the skyline. She wasn’t speaking about the weather.

Translation:

IT'S A METAPHOR, Y'ALL!!!

Be Brutally Honest

I'm pretty sure this guy doesn't really want me to be brutally honest. Because if I were, this would be my complete analysis of this project:

Your book sucks.